The Ethics of Self Defense

Today’s post comes from the comments section of an earlier post called Magickal Self Defense and One of Those Days. There are currently 27 comments on that post, so this lengthy exchange only represents part of the discussion. Dawn raised a very interesting, complex question, though, and one I find relevant to the current state of our world. In particular, Dawn asked about using an energetic technique that I call “the boomerang” and that Sky, a commenter who later chimed in calls “Return to Sender.” Since I knew this would become a controversial topic, I sent my initial response to a friend asking if he thought I should let it lurk in the comments section or bring it to the light of day as a post. His response:

This is great!  You hit proverbial nail that it’s a trigger issue for so many in the awakened/new age community for the reasons you put forth. The general passive energy cloaked in just send love n light, people are afraid of their own power so yes, you would be bumping up against that passive faux ‘love’ energy and rustle a few feathers but I’m seeing this love n light propaganda a lot more lately as the 3D world gets more and more violent. People feel that taking decisive action with boomerang techniques is somehow adding to the violence, not defusing it which is also a problem within these communities, getting too hung up on the collective/macro, that any emotion that hints at anger and protection is somehow sending harmful shockwaves into the collective, i.e., the hive  mentality.  
Go for it, people need to hear more about how to energetically protect themselves. I’m certainly noticing Archonic intrusion is dramatically on the upswing. I tell em to f’off. It works a lot faster than trying to transmute the energy into light, etc.    
🙂 M

Meanwhile, during my email exchange with my friend, commenter Sky shared her insights and powerful story, and Dawn ended up reposting the original article just to highlight the comments section — confirmation that more people find this information valuable enough to upgrade into a post. My intention is not to tell anyone what to do or how to feel, but rather to encourage people to consider what “love” means to them and also ask the questions, “Where do love and courage intersect?” “How far does my love extend?” and “What kinds of responsibilities does unconditional love involve?” Obviously, I have my own very strong opinions on this topic, but each person must decide for themselves.

  • Got a question for you about this Laura. Someone who felt a possible personal threat, could they use the techniques above. I didnt see why not. I was having a discussion about this and someone suggested that this would be the wrong way to handle a personal threat doing the boomerang thing. They were very adamant about that. They suggested having the energy that was being sent by the threatening person transmuted into love and sent back to the person threatening. I get the transmuting into love. What I don’t agree with is the sending it back to the person in that form. I’ve used that technique in the past and it totally escalated the situation. The Threatening person does not take kindly to such energy. Just curious.

  • Well, there is the whole “love n light” magick lite, Wiccan Rede “harm none” crowd that would certainly tell you to transmute it into love before sending it back, but generally that sort of thing does not take care of situations in which someone is disrespecting your sovereignty or personally threatening you. It would work under certain circumstances but you are correct in that it would require the other person to respond positively to such energy in order for it to work. If they are far enough out of that vibration, then sending love will just be transmuted into whatever energy they’re using. It really depends on who you’re dealing with.

    Most people are extremely uncomfortable with their own power, so the question of self defense really hits buttons, including, maybe especially so — magickal self defense. It’s not that different than the 3D question of the 2nd Amendment. I am not a gun advocate because they are messy, both legally and physically if you shoot someone, but I understand the principle people are defending. The right to protect yourself is a basic right, it is a cornerstone of human dignity and freedom, because if you have no right to defend yourself, then you are a slave. Pure and simple, if someone can kill you and you have no defense whatsoever, then you are put into the category of either their victim or their slave. Those who have concealed carry permits (for guns or other weapons) or who know advanced martial arts will tell you that you always want to try to avoid violent conflict — ESPECIALLY if you have the advantage, because having a powerful means of self defense requires responsibility, knowing that you could take someone out.

    In the event that a situation has already escalated out of control, though (where someone is actively attacking a victim or trying to attack the would-be self-defender) then immediate, decisive action is what works. You’re not going to love n light a killer or robber into stopping mid-action. The same principles apply on the magickal side, imho. You do your best to avoid confrontation, to keep your vibe high, to shift energies, to live the Golden Rule; however, if someone is actively ignoring those warnings, requests and respect and they are threatening your person and/or property, imho, the boomerang effect is powerful, quick, decisive and may teach them a lesson so that next time they don’t mess with you. And maybe they don’t mess with anyone again.

    Self defense is really the same issue whether you do it with martial arts, guns and/or magick. We live in a culture that is so brainwashed that most people associate self defense with aggression. That brain washing is very pervasive, very real, and very deliberately orchestrated. If it weren’t so deep, then we wouldn’t live in such a backwards world in which a relatively small number of psychopaths rule the world through sexual predation on children, blackmail, grand scale theft, murder and intimidation. If more people had defended themselves in the beginning, things would not have escalated so far out of control.

    “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke) Or women. Or witches. Or children. The point is, at some point it becomes the responsibility of a good person to do something. And sometimes that Something includes the boomerang. In the real world, anyway. In the land of CIA entrainment and co-opted religion, sure, love n light will save the day. Yep. Because it has worked so well so far …

    Love is extremely powerful, but sometimes “Love” means taking action to stop something in its tracks, not just passively beaming platitudes and smiles at someone engaged in theft, rape, or other violence. Real love means courage and a willingness to accept responsibility for one’s actions, magickal or otherwise. Most people don’t have the courage to follow through and accept responsibility for “harming” someone intent on harming them, and so they passively endorse that person to go right on harming others to exponentially greater degrees. By my definition that’s not love. That’s cowardice masquerading as love in order to avoid punishment or uncomfortable Shadow Work. Of course, I’ve been a warrior for a long, long time. My sword happens to be love, but it is, nonetheless, a very sharp sword. 😉

  • Posted by Sky on October 10, 2014 at 9:29 pm  edit

    Another way of looking at defending one’s self is to “RETURN TO SENDER” harmful energy, attacks from others. It’s no different than returning spoiled milk to the grocery store. You don’t want to drink spoiled milk and it’s quite understood when one returns it. The store often then returns that spoiled milk to the distributor or company that sent it to them.

    When using the “return to sender” approach to defend one’s self, family, or property, one is not “sending” or wishing harm to anyone, rather merely “returning to sender” that which was sent your way. Such as unwanted negative energy or attacks. The sender also has the same choice of returning harmful energy to its source rather than keeping it.

    Did I mention when you return it, you should return it “seven-fold”? At minimum. One can choose to return it “ten-fold” or even one hundred-fold, if one wants.

    This discovery of “return to sender” was a wonderful revelation to me when I discovered it recently. It’s very much along the lines of using the Hagalaz rune which “mirrors back” energy sent one’s way. It’s even biblical.

    “Return to sender” is my daily practice and policy from now on.

  • Thanks, Sky! Yes, the boomerang is the same as Return to Sender, and I am a softie in that I only return it as is or three-fold. Seven-fold definitely sends a message with the return. 🙂

  • Posted by Sky on October 10, 2014 at 9:52 pm  edit

    “Return to sender” creates the opportunity for the sender to choose differently, for themselves and others. Hopefully to choose “better”.

    When one or one and one’s family is under deadly attack, one needs the seven-fold response. You’re not only protecting yourself and those you love, you’re encouraging the sender to find another way of dealing with things. A way that doesn’t harm others — or them.

    I once was in a restaurant when someone suddenly came in with a knife waving it menacingly.. I don’t know what his beef was and it was quite clear it wasn’t open for discussion. A friend and I quickly headed for the back door only to find it locked. The whole restaurant of about 15 customers was facing injury or death. The only way “out” was past him. Then a motorcycle gang member in the restaurant took off his belt, which was a motorcycle engine chain. He began waving it like a lariat in wide fast loops as he advanced threateningly toward the man with the knife. The man quickly left, and all the customers, including myself, were saved. I learned that day why many motorcycle gang members wear motorcycle chains as “belts”.

    Definitely a situation that wasn’t going to respond to “love and light” in the few seconds before the first person was knifed. The biker basically was “returning to sender” the threat being made against a restaurant of customers. …And it worked.

    Given the state the world is in today, we all need to begin using “return to sender” quickly, confidently, and effectively. It’s most effective when used as a daily practice every morning and before going to sleep.

  • Thanks for the additional insights, Sky. Quite the story!

  • Thank you Laura and Sky. I agree wholeheartedly with you both. I think there are so many grey areas in regards to this. How can one say to just return the transmuted nasty energy to the person. If someone is harming anyone or an animal and I desire to protect them I’m most likely not going to stand there and send them love. I’m going to take action in whatever is deemed necessary. Love is action. Otherwise it is just a useless word. Thank you both for taking the time and energy to expand this discussion.

  • You’re welcome, Dawn, and thank you for raising the question. It’s a big one, with a lot of grey areas. Love IS meant to be an action verb, not just a passive one. We can “be” love, but sometimes we also need to “do” love. 🙂

  • Reblogged this on Reiki Dawn and commented:
    I felt the comments section in the post made it worth while to repost Laura’s really good blog on protection and defense. It’s worth contemplating. I’ve had some recent conversations about this subject. Some vehemently hold the belief that you should just send loving thoughts to those who may have ill will in their hearts. I tend to feel that each occasion depending on who you are calls for unique ways to address such things. Sometimes that may call for us to broaden our understanding of love. Is it active or passive. could it be in a way you thought you wouldn’t ever consider. I can’t say what I would really do in a given situation. But I tend to feel that if anything I cared for was physically threatened I would most likely fight in whatever way I could to keep them safe and protect them. I wouldn’t just send the attacker love and hope somehow that made it ok. Controversial subject especially where “new age beliefs” may be concerned. Many thanks to Laura and all commenters for making this extremely thought provoking to me and others.


11 responses to this post.

  1. Reblogged this on Reiki Dawn and commented:
    This worthwhile discussion continues. What would you do? Many thanks Laura.



  2. Posted by seattle72 on October 11, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    Great food for thought here. I grew up with child neglect and child abuse, a dynamic very similar to the forces creating same between ‘authority’ and ‘citizen’, at least those of us in the 99%… Restoring a balanced sense of healthy boundaries after discovering my sovereignty upon leaving that situation has been very challenging. Its all too common a pitfall to become like those who harmed you once you’ve awakened from your victim’s slumber and become an avenger. Personally I found myself swinging between two extremes (avenger to total pacifist to avenger…) to come to a more balanced, healthy place (I hope). It continues to be a work in progress.

    This discussion reminds me of something I read in a psychic self defense book. The author suggested that imposing love and light on conflict can actually exacerbate and irritate a situation that really needs to express as it is, in order to properly heal. I think there is a lot of wisdom in this. He used War as an example. For some reason, I sometimes think of it as imposing the color pink on tomboyish girls. Forcing a role on someone or something that wants to express as they are, evolve on thier own timeline.

    These ideas have tempered my decisions to just send love and light to anything that I find distasteful or not in alignment with my path.

    Thanks Laura, as always, for creating this space to share. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


  3. […] post comes from the comments section of an earlier post called Magickal Self Defense and One of Those Days. There are currently 27 comments on that post, so this lengthy exchange only represents part of the […]



  4. Posted by renegadepoet on October 11, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Very important subject Laura. Protection is the ground stone of existence. The base we build everything upon. Protect yourself with circles, with mirrors, mantras, runes, talismans, gemstones such as smoky quartz and black tourmaline. Start with your body, your aura, then widen it out to include your house and family unit, the things you most value. I personally favour an energy field similar to electricity; but keep it neutral. When the attack comes invite it in as far as you dare, then send it back bright and hot like an exploding star. Remember, they cannot stand the force of light.

    All this has been learned the hard way from experience. Enjoyed the discussion.




  5. As kids, we knew this magick. When another kid was being mean or insulting, we spelled them by saying, “I am rubber, you are glue: Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!”


    Just want to add the story I saw about the group of family and friends having dinner together in LA – this was a few years ago – when a robber broke in through the patio door, with a gun, threatening. He was a poor young black kid, they were rich and golden, and evidently very cool, kind, self-confident people who ended up talking him down, giving him red wine, and connecting into him. In the end he tearfully apologized and left.

    There was another case of a bank teller who connected to the robber, got him to stop, also cry, and pray with her thinking of Jesus and his own family, who he did not want to shame.

    Love is not soft and weak, nor must it be hard to work it’s own magick. Even “robbers” can be reached by Love, experience Grace and find their hearts. —

    When we live in fear we become a magnet for fearful experiences. I like what you do, Laura: recognize the truth that bad is out there, install your defense traps and protections, and then don’t think about the bads until your intuition / Spidey senses alert you. Best way to live in the light!

    Liked by 1 person


    • Thanks for the additional stories and comments, Diana. Beautiful! I have also witnessed situations diffused with humor and compassion. It can sometimes work, but the key is discerning when. It also takes courage and an abilty to look at one’s own Shadow in order to see oneself enough in the robber/rapist/killer to connect with that person as another yourself. You can’t fake that kind of authenticity, but if you can muster it AND the person is willing to connect that way, then it can become a beautiful moment that truly heals.



  6. […] Today’s post bumps up more comments into their own post as people continue to discuss various methods of energetic self defense, as well as sharing stories that illustrate the complexity of this topic. I do love my blog readers! Thank you for caring and for being willing to look at “the good, the bad and the ugly” and for committing to finding more and more ways to live well in love and beauty. You can find the two posts this post references here and here. […]



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