Clearing Fog: Higher Discernment and Effective Tools to Free Yourself from Confusion, Narcissists and Sociopaths

Today’s topic has been trending in sessions for the past several months, but it’s reached a crescendo in recent weeks, both in sessions and in the collective. Specifically, as veils continue to thin or evaporate, people begin to catch glimpses of abuse, covert narcissism, sociopathy, or even just wonder:

Why aren’t I happy when everything in my life seems ‘perfect’?

Why am I so confused?

Why do I have no idea who I am or what I want?

Why do I suck at manifestation even though I’m a “lightworker”?

How can x not see through y (while z demands to know how y can’t see through x!)?

Hypothetically, if I am trapped in a relationship with someone on the narcissist or sociopath spectrum, how would I know, and how do I free myself?

How do they get away with it? (Or, alternatively, how could I not have seen this?)

If someone sounds angry and unspiritual, how could this person be right? (Or, alternatively, if someone is always full of love and light, how could this person be wrong?)

If this relationship is toxic, then why do I feel so guilty leaving it?

These questions and more have become so common in recent sessions that I realize it’s time for some additional posts on this topic, in addition to ones I’ve posted over the years.

First up: the topic of “gaslighting.” I’ve spent hours trying to find an articulate, comprehensive YouTube video, and this video from 2013 is the best one I’ve found to explain why we all need to increase our awareness of what gaslighting is and how to inoculate ourselves from its effects. James Corbett and Thomas Sheridan do an excellent job describing the history of this term, as well as the ways it affects individuals and our society, causing people to doubt their own sense of reality and remain victims:

Extra credit viewing: links to and clips from the original movie, “Gaslight.”

As James and Thomas explain, this concept of gaslighting — manipulating circumstances to make someone doubt his or her version of reality or believe s/he’s crazy — accounts for so much confusion in our society, as well as in individual lives. It’s pervasive, and learning to recognize this tactic will help in discerning how to deal with increased revelations on both personal and collective levels.

This next video discusses how to recognize and deal with a “covert narcissist,” someone who does not fit the typical idea of a bombastic, brash, arrogant, angry jerk, but rather more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. These patterns are so prevalent in our society, especially among “paragons” of helping professions, spiritual and religious groups, community leaders and those people who seem like saints to everyone but the people closest to them. If you’ve ever been involved in one of these relationships, you know how devastating it feels when no one believes your cries for help. You also might wonder how the heck do I prevent this from going any further? Ross Rosenberg explains the dynamic, along with examples:

“Ross Rosenberg, author and codependency expert, discusses a technique he developed that empowers and assists recovering codependents with their struggles with their narcissistic loved ones. This is a revolutionary technique that will help anyone disconnect from an emotionally manipulative person’s (an addict or pathological narcissist) attempts to bring them into their world of chaos and drama. As George Bernard Show once said, ‘I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty,and besides, the pig likes it.’ This video will help the recovering codependent to not ‘wrestle’ with their manipulative narcissist. Ross is the author of the Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us, which can be purchased at http://www.HumanMagnetSyndrome.com”

The following video by Ross Rosenberg reveals the importance of not tipping your hand when you flee the clutches of a narcissist. These people thrive on conflict and dragging people into the fight. You can unmask them and help others to free themselves, but you do need an exit strategy:

If you suspect you might have experienced narcissistic abuse and/or gaslighting in your personal life (not just in the media or broader culture), you might also find the next two videos helpful. They are a bit repetitive, but when breaking free of mind control, repetition provides a counter-voice to the one narcissists and sociopaths help you internalize:

I will leave you with Lisa A. Romano’s personal example of the “Nice Narcissist” in her own life and just how these insidious behaviors sneak past intuitive nudges, gut instincts, and red flags:

Please note: I am not diagnosing or prescribing anyone or anything here — just sharing information to help people begin to clear the fog. I will likely continue to post on this topic, as energies and revelations are all over the place right now. Big hugs, discernment, courage, confidence and blessings to you!

Real Time Astrology: New Moon Solar Eclipse in Virgo September 1st, 2016

Really good information here: how to make the most of this month’s energies, starting with the September 1 eclipse.

Viva Combusta!

Virgo new moon eclipse September astrology Mural by A’Shop

The New Moon Solar Eclipse at 9 degrees Virgo takes place on Thursday, September 1st, 4:03 AM Central Standard Time. It is an annular solar eclipse, meaning it will create the visible coronal ring (“ring of fire”) most people associate with eclipses. The closer an eclipse is to the Moon’s Nodes, the stronger; with the North Node at 12 degrees Virgo this does set us up for a powerful and intense eclipse! The Sun, New Moon and North Node all in Virgo will be joined by Mercury retrograde in exact conjunction to Jupiter at 28 degrees Virgo. That’s quite the five star stellium! The Virgo New Moon/Solar Eclipse/stellium will also form a formidable mutable T-square by squaring Mars at 14 degrees Sagittarius and Saturn at 10 Sagittarius, and opposing Neptune retrograde at 10 degrees Pisces.

The orbs are tight for this one; no room for…

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Late Summer in the Garden

The days are getting shorter, and the light has softened, dipping slightly lower in the sky. The blooms of summer have subtly shifted into more of an autumn palette — still bright and yet somehow tinged with more golds, reds and brownish pinks. Here are some photos from today and yesterday.

Zinnias begin to come into their glory as we move into Autumn:

zinnias

The first of several green striped cushaw squash made an appearance, alongside some marigolds and at least two more winter squash buddies. These cushaw squash grow to the size of toddlers with almost zero effort:

Green striped cushaw

Garlic chives bloom at this time of year instead of in spring like their purple cousins. Here you can see this popular insect spot, alongside purple leaf shiso (great in a hazelnut pesto!), eggplant, tomatoes, parsley, bush basil, zinnias, and cosmos.

garlic chives and shiso

The sweet potatoes in the Haus Am See trough are getting ready to bloom alongside lettuce, purple cabbage and zinnias, and some of the perennials are finally starting to take root. The trough further back currently has another white scallop squash plant, lettuce, cosmos and calendula, but I recently seeded it with cold hardy Lucullus chard and giant winter spinach. Once those come in, the squash might go. I can’t keep up with the single one I have growing out back — not sure why I planted a second! The sunflowers all over the yard continue to attract dozens of goldfinches, bees, and silly squirrels and chipmunks who climb the stems.

blue house troughs

Blackeyed Susan’s really shine at this time of year:

black eyed Susan's

… and sedum has begun its shift from white to pink to deep reddish brown:

misty sedum

I will leave you with yesterday’s bouquet speedily put together between thunderstorms and carefully delivered to David’s mom. As I stretch the seasons of bloom, I believe she’s up to about 35 weekly bouquets per year — not bad for a former wasteland in zone 5b, but I am determined to do even better!

late August bouquet

Blessed Be … and be the blessing.

Golden Tickets and Enough Rope

Whenever energies grow particularly potent, the Universe sends out another batch of “golden tickets,” à la “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Intense desire to better one’s life summons unusual circumstances governed by “chance” or “fate,” synchronizing into the opportunity of a lifetime. As Carl Jung noted: “When an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside, as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposing halves.” Golden tickets can reveal truly golden characters, or they can arrange for circumstances to destroy lives as a result of rotten characters made visible.

This past month, and especially the last couple weeks, offered golden tickets galore to both private individuals and those on very public stages. I’ve seen this with clients, friends, former clients and others I’ve helped in secret behind the scenes, but even cursory glances at headlines reveal opportunities for more famous people to make a clean, definitive break with “the way things were” and truly embrace new realities, relief, and freedom. Golden tickets do not erase the past; however, they do bring with them “enough rope to save yourself or hang yourself.” In fact, golden tickets push inner indecision to the forefront, forcing people to take some kind of decisive action with that rope.

As with characters in any good story, we each hold within us both light and shadow, along with the potential for both courage and cowardice. Some people’s Shadows are darker and murkier than others, and some people’s courage hides itself more thoroughly than others. When a golden ticket arrives, even people with very dark Shadows and self sabotage programs who never managed to summon enough courage to break away from old patterns before — these people in possession of a shiny golden ticket suddenly find themselves with a chocolate factory full of highly visible opportunities to demonstrate their character.

Of course, we hope that everyone will be a Charlie Bucket, but we find plenty of Violet Beauregarde’s and Veruca Salts. Sometimes, we find a real Arthur Slugsworth. More often, we find people for whom we really do want to root, but we’re just not sure what they’ll do with this golden ticket. Such people might even have a great deal of charisma and somehow manage to beat the odds and summon multiple golden tickets throughout their lives, but maybe we’ve already seen them squander two golden tickets. Maybe we sense the ticket they now hold has attached itself to a more decisive rope. Will they save themselves or hang themselves? Will they win the chocolate factory or definitively reveal themselves as bad eggs or cowards?

Golden tickets force the truth forward in the form of enough rope. Unless we engage in vindictive Shadenfreude, we generally hope people use that rope to save themselves, envisioning how they could then use that same rope to inspire and lend a helping tug to others. But what happens when they don’t? What happens when someone’s responses to his or her golden ticket reveal the worst and weakest, rather than the best of inner character? What happens when someone with a golden ticket doubles down on that response?

In a golden ticket situation, the differences between someone we know and/or love saving themselves and hanging themselves become so apparent as to shine light in even the deepest corners of cognitive dissonance, hopium and our desire to believe that anyone can change. Depending on our relationship with the person squandering the golden ticket, we reach our own decisive point of trying to shake some sense into the person, walking away, and/or removing our entanglements and any enabling behaviors. Turning our backs on someone who has squandered a golden ticket  can feel like a lonely, disillusioned, and sorrowful time, but it also offers a vicarious opportunity to make a decisive change in our own lives.

As revelations, extreme life challenges and health crises often summon golden tickets, we will continue to witness (and sometimes even experience) the corresponding length of rope. As individuals, and as a society. Western culture is itself in an extensive golden ticket moment. What will we, as participants, decide to do with our opportunity? What will we, as individuals, choose to do in our own lives to honor courage and truth? Not pseudo-courage that hides behind ideologies or other people … and not slippery truth whose words promise all manner of contradictory things in an effort to pass the rope.

As I’ve mentioned before, I find fiction a useful medium for exploring consciousness and a variety of what if’s. I’ve recommended Starhawk’s novels as both prophetic and highly useful tools for navigating our now, but many novels or films with well developed characters can help us gain clarity on the miasma of light and shadow, courage and cowardice, truth and lies. Some interesting viewing for our times includes: “The Big Short,” “Revolutionary Road,” and on a more mythological level, “The Neverending Story,” as well as Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. This is our story, too. How we respond matters. As in, creates matter. Form. Reality.

People struggling with suspected narccisistic abuse might want to check out M. Scott Peck’s classic, “People of the Lie,” along with the resources on http://narcissismfree.com. Those who suspect they might be dealing with someone exhibiting borderline personality disorder might also appreciate Mason and Kreger’s book, “Stop Walking on Eggshells.” Those who just want to make sure they don’t squander their own golden ticket might want to read T. Thorn Coyle’s “Make Magic of Your Life.” Trust your gut on this one. The heart and mind get all sorts of entanglements, but your body knows when you need to remove yourself from a situation or person.

These are not easy times, but remember, “Whenever energies grow particularly potent, the Universe sends out another batch of ‘golden tickets,’ à la ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.'” Huge potentials exist for those who step into courage, love and boundless imagination:

Willy Wonka: Oh, And Charlie? Do not forget about the guy who got everything he wanted!

Charlie Bucket: Oh, What happened to him?

Willy Wonka: Well, he lived happily ever after.

 

Big blessings, love and support along your journey…

Laura

The Importance of Starhawk’s “City of Refuge”

I feel like this message needs re-posting, as so many people are reeling (real-ing?) from various revelations in personal, local, national, international and internet land. Sometimes fiction creates a safer ground for sorting through one’s own moral and spiritual assumptions, beliefs, and blind spots. We live in times of thinning veils, speedy web spinning, and continued tears. (Both the kind from your eyes and the kind that make holes in webs.)

If you feel ungrounded, please get outside and put your bare feet ON the ground. Find your own center, away from the hoopla, and give yourself permission to process at your own pace. If life demands faster processing, then I do recommend a fiction breather. Starhawk’s most recent novels give insights to all sorts of characters and situations, and identifying with characters as you read offers a chance for self-observation and, if necessary, recalibration. Few things are black or white. Learning to face the grey and navigate it will allow us to move forward in whole and integrated ways. And that is an individual process before it becomes a societal one.

Hugs, love and blessings …

Laura Bruno's Blog

As predicted, levels of intensity, exposure, and reactivity continue to increase, so we best learn how to deal with rapidly thinning veils. I’ve said for years that this is not a time for keeping secrets and hiding from your Shadow, as the energies no longer support codependency, collusion, treason, or sweeping things under the rug. They just don’t. I’m rarely surprised by “shocking” revelations, as I read people’s energy signatures and therefore notice the darkness amidst the light, the smudges, the shameful feelings, fear and Shadow boxing. We will see more and more of this as the veils continue to thin.The Hopi prophecies even predict people losing their minds due to enhanced abilities to “see.”

Best remedies?

As I have said for years, we must each address our own Shadow. Doing so takes tremendous courage and often results in internal and public shaming or rejection by friends, family, and society…

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Roses and a Quick Reminder

Some beauty and a quick reminder. First, the beauty:

rose bouquet.jpg

And now, the reminder:

We’re already 22 days into August! That means we’re fast approaching the 8/31 deadline for this month’s specials, which will not be renewed next month. (In other words, September will feature different specials.)

8/31 is also the early registration discount deadline for the September 10 Reiki class in Goshen, IN.

AUGUST 2016 SPECIALS

Intuitive Preparedness Check-In

This is a return of a popular 2014 special, which I feel called to highlight again now due to so many people asking me about Brexit, potential US election chaos, gardening questions, and especially with so many people suddenly (since July 1) sensing new openings and opportunities that once seemed very far away. People want to know how to maintain an positive, proactive vibration and how to thrive while also shoring up any weak spots. This special responds to many comments, questions and private emails requesting my take on the question “What can I do right now?” — for specific individuals, rather than general guidelines and suggestions.

This hour session gives you access to my own intuitive scan of what areas of focus will provide you the greatest payback and sense of abundance, peace and security, with the least amount of resistance. Those looking to make larger lifestyle shifts can ask me to scan various lifestyle, location and/or community options to see which ones fit best with your vibration and heart’s desires. You can also use our time together to discuss energetic/magickal protection and manifestation tools and techniques, along with troubleshooting your most pressing concerns in various areas of life, including finances, food security, faith/spirituality/soul nurturing, relationships and/or land, including “garden guidance.”

I feel so strongly about helping people take steps from fear, denial and overwhelm into abundance, joy and freedom, that I’m keeping this pricing a simple $123. As Tolkien said, “Little by little, one travels far.”

Please contact me if you’d like to sign up for this special. Offer valid if prepaid on or before August 31, 2016.

$333 Intuitive Coaching Three-Pack

With regular intuitive or life coaching sessions running $175/hour, this special offers major savings at $333/three hours. I’ve found that even people who normally process things on their own feel challenged by the increased intensity and “sorting” of the Universe these days. As we continue with Earth changes, internal and galactic shifts, I feel called to offer a short burst of support to those in need. These sessions can be used close together or saved for a future need. You can use them in hour or half-hour segments. The entire package can be gifted to someone else, but (for simplicity of paperwork) these three-packs cannot be divided and shared among multiple individuals. Offer valid if prepaid on or before August 31, 2016. To schedule your first session or purchase the package, please contact me here.

REIKI TRAINING

Reiki Level 1 Certification Class in Goshen, Indiana

Saturday, September 10, 2016 from 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. (East Coast time) in Goshen, Indiana.

For reference, Goshen is about 40 minutes East of South Bend, 8 miles from the Michigan border, and 2-3 hours from the Chicago area, depending on your exact location. A limited number of rooms are available for students who need to spend the night.

Students will learn and/or receive:

• History, nature, and science of Reiki.
• Experiencing Reiki energy.
• Using Reiki with other healing arts.
• Discussion of 21-day cleanse.
• Treating animals and plants.
• Essence scanning process.
• Establishing a Reiki practice.
• Practice self-treatment hand positions.
• Handouts and resource list.
• Reiki Circles.
• What a Reiki lineage represents.
• Giving a Reiki treatment with hand positions.
• Ethics and Legal Responsibilities as a Reiki Practitioner.
• Reiki Level 1 Attunement.

Certification: At the end of the training, each student will receive a certificate acknowledging completion of Reiki Level 1, as well as recognition as a Reiki Level 1 Practitioner. Taking any Reiki training with me also qualifies each student to audit (at no cost) any additional Reiki classes taught by me, up to and including the level completed with her (space permitting).

Fee: $175 ($150 if prepaid by 8/31/2016)

Please contact me to reserve your spot.

Last Magick Stone Nature Portal Activate!

I’m so excited for this Magick Stone from Tania Marie, which she will be hand delivering when my David and I meet her Dave and her at a very sacred place around Equinox. I knew this would be perfect and lovely, but it truly is just perfect and absolutely beautiful. Thanks and love, T!

Tania Marie's Blog

magick stone

Magick Stones come to closure with this potent one, which is the last I’ll be creating for a while. It’s one of three largest stones I’ve channeled, and it’s also an incredible stone on its own even before I painted it, as it naturally has sacred artwork embedded on it, as is, with 2 circles (one of which has a double one inside of it) and an open doorway that diagonally creates a merging middle portal access to traverse realities on either side of it. This makes it doubly potent with magickal energies both above and below the surface.

magick stone5

Like with all creations, the timing of the journey with each is sacred and divinely aligned.

This one was no exception, as I noted when I completed the first side of the stone it was 11:11 am on the clock – activating its portal.

magick stone4

And when I completed the second side…

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