Posts Tagged ‘What do you want’

Your Right to Preferences

This theme keeps coming up in coaching and intuitive sessions, so I thought I’d mention it here. If I hear it so often in private sessions, then lots of others are likely experiencing it, too!

In a nutshell, you don’t need to feel guilty for having preferences. We live in a vibrational and co-creative Universe, which continues to birth and rebirth itself according to desires. Yes, desires, preferences, hopes, dreams … without them, the Universe would stagnate. Preferences are not only a Divine Right, but also kind of a Source Mandate. Source, God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, expands in response to your desires. Each time you hone a desire or discover a new preference, you tweak the manifestation instructions you present to All That Is.

Sure, people, governments, religious authorities, and schools sometimes tell you your preferences are bad, evil, unwarranted, or crazy, but that doesn’t change the fact you have them. I don’t mean to give license to harm other people — oftentimes the repressive preference squashers are the ones secretly harming others! Those who manipulate via guilt, shame, ridicule and diminishing do not have your best interest at heart, so why allow them to make decisions for you? Why allow them to create your life instead of you?

If someone laughs at your preferences or tells you that you’re wrong or selfish for having them, take a moment to explore why that person even cares. What investment does that person have in whether or not something brings you joy, frustration, or sorrow? Does that person really know you better than you know yourself? And if so, why would you allow that to continue happening?! You’re a fabulous, intriguing, amazing, deep, diverse, and interesting person; I guarantee it. If you don’t see that, then it might be time for some proactive cord cutting, followed by a quiet, healing meditation and/or journaling. Get to know yourself! Get to know what makes you tick. In order to Follow Your Bliss, it helps to make note of what feels like Bliss to you.

As we shift from 3D to whatever and wherever we’re shifting, vibration becomes even more important. If you allow yourself to whither in someone else’s limitations, then you rob not only yourself, but the collective reality as well. Why not co-create something you truly love? Why not expand yourself in joy and jubilation? Your growth grows the Universe. Your ability to maintain a positive, exciting and Spirit filled life frees others to do so, too.

Preferences can range anywhere from types of food you like, to qualities of relationship, degree of sexual compatibility, financial ease, the kinds of clients you wish to attract, boundaries in business, weather … no limitations here! You can’t talk yourself out of preferences. Repressed preferences will rear their heads at the most inopportune times, so you might as well acknowledge and honor them upfront. Knowing what you want will also help you avoid the following common and unfortunate relationship dynamic:

Someone really, really wants something from you. In this example, let’s say they want you. They want you to commit to them, and in exchange they offer you something that’s important to them but not necessarily important to you. From their perspective, they’re giving you the world, and you darned well better appreciate it. You, on the other hand, just don’t really feel that attracted to them, or, for whatever reason, you just don’t feel the same way about the proposed exchange. Because they have given you their “stuff” and lord that fact over you, you begin to feel like you should feel different about them than you do. You might try to convince yourself that your preferences are superficial, stupid, or unenlightened. You might try to convince yourself that attraction and compatibility don’t really matter as much as unconditional love.

Just to clarify: you can unconditionally love someone and not desire to marry them. You can unconditionally love someone and choose not to spend much time with them. You can unconditionally love someone, wish them well, and yet still honor yourself by listening to your own sense of what feels balanced. Just because someone gives you something they value, doesn’t require you to place the same value upon that something. You have a right to your own, unique preferences, and if a relationship fails to match up, you can choose to walk away, or redefine the nature of that relationship. If the other person starts calling you names, guilt tripping you, or otherwise stomping on your sincere efforts to attract win win situations for all involved, then you’ve just received a clear indication that you are not receiving unconditional love, no matter if you’re giving that or not. Guilt works as a primary manipulative tool.

This dynamic can occur in romantic relationships, business trades, expectations between clients/customers and providers, higher education, and any other encounters you have with someone who may not share all your preferences. Clear communication helps, but in fairness, that needs to go both ways. If someone expresses what they want, and you know that you are either unwilling or unable to meet those preferences, then sharing that information allows you to maintain integrity in the relationship with the other person and within yourself. As we shift further away from duality, split intentions will become increasingly difficult to bear. Recognizing early signs of incompatibility and taking proactive steps to redefine relationships or to extricate yourself from imbalanced situations will speed your ability to shift into a newer, cleaner, easier reality. The more people who take responsibility for the world they wish to co-create, the freer world we’ll find.

If you choose to Follow Your Bliss, then Bliss will choose to follow you. From that higher vibration, you will create and attract an extraordinarily inspiring life. You will become the change you wish to see in the world. And I promise you, you will find kindred spirits who celebrate with you and for you. Lonely is feeling obligated to love someone or serve someone in ways your heart and Spirit won’t allow. Nothing feels lonelier than telling your authentic Self to settle now and wait for next lifetime. You’re not here to reiterate the status quo. In case you haven’t noticed, default reality on Earth hasn’t been a resounding success. That’s why all the structures and illusions have begun to fall away. The New Earth won’t build itself without your input. You vote with your vibration, and the higher your vibe, the better your world. Want freedom? Free yourself, and watch what happens.

I love you.