I receive a fair number of inquiries from women who would love to have children but experience some sort of block en route: infertility, miscarriages, repeated complications in childbirth … . By the time they contact a Medical Intuitive, these women have already seen multiple doctors, midwives, doulas, and naturopaths, so my work with them tends to focus primarily on non-physical steps they can take to improve their chances. Of the women I’ve worked with, 100% have either gotten pregnant within two months and carried to term, or they have realized that they do not, in fact, want children at this time. They discovered that nature’s “no” had blessed them unawares. Recognizing that each instance holds its own unique factors and story, I thought I’d share some of the most common patterns I’ve noticed:
Oftentimes, the more aware and desirous of a child the would-be mother is, the more demanding the unborn child. Women who call me feel very frustrated,sad and angry, wondering why “everyone else” gets pregnant without hassle and why they, who live such “healthy and spiritual lives,” are “being punished” or at the very least “not rewarded” for their efforts. The more they try, the more depressed they get because it just doesn’t seem fair that people who pay little attention to diet, exercise and conscious awareness have little concern about fertility or miscarriages.
If this describes you, then my heart goes out to you. I have talked with enough women in this situation to understand how deeply the pain can cut. In order to grasp what’s going on, we need to pan back out of 3D reality for a bit. We also need to accept — at least for the moment — the idea that babies really do choose their parents.
Souls determine a rough outline for their lives before incarnating. Babies do not enter our world with a blank slate and zero conscious awareness. In many ways, they know more than we do because they have just arrived fresh from Source. They have goals, hopes and dreams, and parents offer some of the greatest influence on potential achievements in this lifetime.
When a pre-incarnate soul starts shopping around for parents, s/he makes an assessment of who can best offer the lessons or experiences s/he wants to have. Given that many souls come here to work through past life issues, the “easiest” life is often not the most efficient. Parents who work hard to get all their finances in order, finish therapy, take all the prenatal vitamins, internally cleanse, buy the dream home and paint the nursery ironically limit the number and kinds of souls that would choose them. (This is not a bad thing; it just bears mentioning.) Sometimes pain and struggle create the exact conditions needed for growth. If would-be parents create a too comfy life, then souls that believe they need work will look elsewhere.
If a soul has a specific contract with potential parents who’ve created an easier than necessary reception, then sometimes the soul will come in as a special needs child. Would-be parents usually pray and pray for a “healthy baby,” assuming that no child would choose to come in “different.” But this belief comes from a 3D world perspective. In the bigger picture, souls choose way more than we imagine. They don’t look for ease; they look for growth. In the twenty-first century, they also look for efficient growth. Maximum evolution for minimum time on this planet.
I’ve worked with a lot of special needs kids, and believe me, these kids are special. Whenever I do soul readings for them it becomes clear that they came here determined to blast through previous limitations. Their missing skills either encourage them to focus on the specific gifts they want to offer to the world and/or the strain of “disabilities” creates just the right conditions for soul healing. This healing usually extends beyond their own soul, at least to their family, often to the world. In any case, the special needs reflect conscious choices designed to move them most efficiently through whatever they came here to heal and achieve.
When I speak with would-be parents who fit the “highly conscious,” “reasonably healthy” profile, I always need to ask how they would feel if they birthed a special needs child. Many times, people don’t even want to think about it, but I find the question an important one. It’s like the pre-incarnate soul wants to know, “How fully will you accept me? To what degree will you support my process? If this is what it took for me to be with you and experience what I need to experience, would you stand by me?” A yes goes a long way in convincing these souls that they will have options. Potential parents willing to embrace the possibility of a special needs child also seem more likely to create the flexible environment needed for growth without the special needs. Other times, children who feel the “special needs” are important to their development will search until they find parents with huge hearts who can support and grow with them during these challenges.
People willing to accept with joy the challenges of a “disabled” child demonstrate an ability to view each soul as an individual with a full history and future. I’ve noticed that once potential parents reach this place of acceptance, they generate a lot of interest in the pre-incarnate world. They suddenly earn “cool” status and souls that previously considered them too rigid will reconsider coming into their lives, even as healthy babies. Incarnation is always a gamble, and souls will take calculated risks based on parents’ ability to adapt.
Our current, transitional times have interested many souls. Whatever will or will not happen in 2012, change pervades the Earthly atmosphere. Souls wanting to incarnate recognize that they may not have an infinite number of times to get things right. As a result, the more conscious souls have become pickier. Evolved souls naturally resonate with more conscious parents, but they won’t just give things a whirl and try again next time. With how fast things continue to change on this planet, they can no longer predict how “next time” might look. Many pre-incarnate souls view their next lifetime as potentially their last.
If you sensed you might be about to eat your last piece of pizza, or inhale your last breath, or view your last sunset, think of how you’d feel. How might you savor the experience? How might you opt out of some experiences you normally wouldn’t mind having? With whom would you want to spend your remaining time? What’s your “bucket list” — those things you want to make sure you do before you die?
Evolved souls coming in right now are asking themselves these questions with more urgency than usual. They’re not predicting the end of the world (and neither am I!), but they are acknowledging some big-time changes headed our way. In scanning potential parents, they like the idea of conscious ones open to Spirit, intuition and synchronicity. They would love to spend a lifetime with you. They just realize that they need to get serious about priorities. Potential parents who seem wishy-washy about egoless commitment to their kids’ spiritual and emotional growth have become higher risk. Whereas ten years ago, a gambling soul might have bet on them, now the soul’s behaving like the US Credit market, denying people whom they would have accepted at another time. Those souls who throw the dice by allowing conception to occur, carefully monitor the situation all the way to birth. If the parental situation starts to look less conducive to achieving that bucket list, the babies bail out early, sometimes via repeat miscarriages.
I worked with one woman who kept having miscarriages with the same soul. The issue turned out to be a past life one, and we worked extensively to heal the relationship with her unborn baby. Through this process, the woman experienced a major heart opening and felt a forgiveness, self-love and connection to Source, which she had never allowed herself to know before.
Shortly afterwards, she miscarried again. She called me, sobbing, wanting to know how this could happen. I tuned in, and the soul informed me that “he” had already worked out his entire reason for incarnating with this woman just during the past two months in her womb. Freed of the karmic sorrow associated with this would-be mom, he saw a chance to “skip a lifetime.” Last I heard, he had decided to incarnate in a small village in South America, where he could connect deeply with the Earth and her indigenous cultures.
The woman grieved, and I supported this, but I also told her that I sensed she would get pregnant very soon and carry to term this time with a different soul. After three miscarriages she found this difficult to believe, but she did, in fact, get pregnant without even trying. She carried to term with no complications and gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy over a year ago. Her karmic ties to that first soul had created a block preventing any other soul from coming through her until she healed that relationship. By forgiving each other, she and the little soul freed her womb to carry someone else to term.
Aside from past life work, what can hopeful parents do? Here’s a quick list of some of the most helpful shifts:
1) Minimize all refined flours and sugars. This sounds like a physical request, but it’s actually about vibration. The new babies want clarity, and nothing fogs things up so fast as white flour and white sugar. For people already avoiding these items, the souls may require you to step it up another notch from wherever you are. Many of the very old souls coming in now want to bring sweetness to the planet. They themselves are so “sweet” that their mothers tend to become more predisposed to gestational diabetes or other blood sugar issues during pregnancy. It’s a bit more complicated than I’m explaining here, but the upshot remains: minimize refined sweeteners and stop eating refined flour.
2) Seriously consider if you can accept your child as a conscious being who has a life path and goals beyond your intentions for him or her. Will you allow your child to be true to himself or herself? Or will you try to implant all of your values into your child? Can you view parenting from a place of balance where you have authority and knowledge, but where you can also learn a great deal from your child? Can you handle the possibility of your child being far more spiritually evolved and wise than you are? Would you try to squash associated gifts or welcome them?
Taking the time and courage to explore and answer these questions allows pre-incarnate souls to move you from the unknown pile into the known pile. Yes, your answers will result in many souls choosing other parents, but your answers will also help compatible souls to find you. If you don’t define your values, expectations and beliefs, then you may remain too high risk for today’s picky souls.
3) Start a meditation practice and invite awareness of any little beings who might want to come into your life. Allow yourself just to feel and observe. Listen. A quiet mind and an open heart create attractive reservoirs for evolved souls. They want parents who go deep.
4) Get creative! In the bigger scheme of things, it’s all energy, so the more creative projects in your life, the more creative energy flows through and around you. If you want to make a baby, then make a book, a scrapbook, paint a picture, form a sculpture. It doesn’t matter so much what you create; it’s more important that you feel creativity at work in your life. If you have fertility problems, then start new projects. If you have trouble carrying to term, then focus on finishing creative projects. When you do finish projects, display them proudly.
5) Be grateful. I know you might feel discouraged, but it doesn’t help you make a baby. In addition to supporting their own healing and dreams, souls want to create more beauty and fulfilment in your life. If circumstances haven’t resulted in a child, try to trust in a bigger plan at work. Sometimes “soul mate” children arrive through adoption. Sometimes they arrive when you stop trying. Sometimes they’re just waiting for another soul to feel ready to arrive as a twin.
The 3D world can look hopelessly unfair sometimes, but after thousands of intuitive readings, I promise you there’s more love and beauty around you than you imagine. You have more unseen support than you would dream. If your desire for a child hasn’t manifested yet, be grateful for the chance to open even more.
For a fictional take on some of these themes, you might also enjoy Schizandra and the Gates of Mu. (Schizandra’s grandmother is a midwife.)