Posts Tagged ‘Living Authentically’

Comment Bump Up About Boundaries and Expectations

This little comment exchange from the re-post “Expectations and Happiness” seems important to bump up, since the topic arises a lot during client sessions, as well as during conversations with colleagues needing to maintain balance in their lives so they don’t burn out. It also goes along with Tania Marie’s recent video message, which I also highly recommend.

Comments bumped up from Expectations and Happiness (I added paragraphs to mine for easier reading):

 

  • Posted by diana allen on February 19, 2016 at 9:33 pm  edit

    A couple weeks ago I was having lunch with a friend and she shared with me that in general, she has “really low expectations” of other people. I was so surprised! But she said someone once told her that people with lower expectations are happier than people with high expectations, and she too it to heart.

    Logically, I suppose this makes perfect sense. I’ve been happier in certain relationships after I decreased my expectations of the person. (I may think the relationship would be more fulfilling, for me anyway, if the other person WANTED to meet my expectations, but accepting that they didn’t allowed us to continue the friendship.) On the other hand, I think it’s important to know your own limits of what is and is not acceptable. You don’t have to go too low. Boundaries are a beautiful thing.

    xx

     

  • I agree, Diana, “Boundaries are a beautiful thing”! For me, that goes into the creating a new reality department: if people don’t meet my expectations of how I expect to be treated, then I downgrade their involvement in my life. I have layers upon layers of relationships, relatively few of which I consider fully mutual. In order to maintain a sense of balance, my relationships either involve some kind of supplementary energy exchange such as payment from clients, or I have categories of friends like “gardening friends” or “vegan lunchtime friends.”

    If someone expects something from me that is just so far above and beyond what I would ever consider asking from them or what I consider them capable of offering in terms of depth or understanding, then I might choose to gift that to them — under special circumstances, at my discretion — but to go on pretending that such relationships are balanced would be a toxic disservice to me, so I remove myself.

    I know this is a common theme among many people who live from a place of service, compassion and assistance. There’s a difference between charity work, paid work, what we consider casual acquaintances, and true blue friends. For me, the true blue friends are the ones who live from a similar level of awareness and generosity as I do. I expect very few people to live from that place, so I create and maintain my boundaries with that awareness.

    Every once in a great while, someone surprises me by moving from a lesser level of friendship into full on potential to live from that space. When I see that, those people move into the true blue friend category –not because I need them to, but because I recognize the commonality of experience and depth. Recognizing the different levels of consciousness and compassion, and honoring those differences without feeling guilty for “judging” others has greatly improved my own happiness quotient over the years! I have such low expectations from most people — while still always seeing their potential — that I’m constantly pleased and surprised when people do step up more into the fullness of who they are. 🙂

    Thanks for your comment!

    xx

 

Charlie Chaplan ~ “As I Began to Love Myself”

via Galactic Free Press

[UPDATE from commenter Sharon: Charlie Chaplin didn’t write this. It is someone else’s work that he read. I tried searching for the proper author but the internet is failing me today. He was clear that he didn’t write it though, just recited it. Haven’t found a good link but did discover the piece is a work of Kim and Alison McMillen.]

love yourself

“As I Began to Love Myself”

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born.Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

-Charlie Chaplin

Larkin Rose ~ But What Will Be Done About …?

An excellent mental exercise from Larkin Rose, which goes right along with the ongoing discussions of responsibility, courage and creativity:

“What would you do about it?”

Mars Retrograde in Virgo: Insights from Electra Jung

I’ve already shared some information on Mars Retrograde in Virgo, but here we have the lovely Electra Jung weighing in from a professional astrological perspective. I’m personally feeling these energies, and I know so many others are, too. Many thanks to Electra for her insights and clarity:

Mars Retrograde in Virgo

Jan. 23 – April 13, 2012


Free Yourself

“The moment you can visualize being free from the things that hold you back, you have indeed begun to set yourself free.”

-Unknown

Mars is known as the God of War, the Passionate Warrior, and the Red Planet of desire, action, competition war and conquest. Mars is also the planet which rules instinct, ambition and power…the will to overcome adversity at all cost.

Mars is absolute action fueled by passion and anger providing the focused energy to achieve.

Mars in retrograde is energy turned inward rather than outward. Pressure becomes volcanic when Mars energy is restrained or when anger is internalized. There can be covert activity, hidden agendas leading to resentments and even paranoia.

The enormous expectations you have for yourself, coming from others, open and hidden agendas (yours and others), sexual conquest and the desire to be noticed and admired. All this falls under the realm of “Mars” and the desire to achieve. When Mars is retrograde there is a noticeable lowering of vitality, loss of direction and frustration bordering on anxiety.

This just in from an office employee:

“I do feel this lack of motivation – I can’t force myself to get my work done! It is frustrating and I want to know how best to utilize this delay. I have a paper to write and my notes are all there, the thing is half-written, and I can’t force myself to even look at it!”

Mars retrograde is the opportunity to free oneself from binding, controlling memories from the past, psychological vampires, personal incarceration to in-authentic life patterns. This means the self-imposed restrictions and boundaries you have placed upon yourself after a lifetime of being conditioned, regimented, manipulated and criticized for unorthodox or individualistic behavior.

This is the opportunity for deep re-evaluation of personal motive and begin to honestly come to terms with how authentic your life has become.. .or is there something inside your own mind holding into a pattern of false being. The experiences for renewal and regeneration are born from intense encounters of one’s Shadow…long buried dreams suppressed deep within.

FREEDOM…

… freedom from the expectation of others, freedom from worry, from the future, from the things that tie you to the past and weigh you down.

Mars retrograde in Virgo brings the inclination to begin healing through closure, severance of ties and over-due endings. These ties from the past continue to manipulate and control nearly every aspect of your present life… physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual.

Now is the time to turn energy with-in and begin acknowledging every superficial social activity which drains and exhausts your vitality. Witness your own life from a point of detachment and honesty…discover who you are…is this who you really are or the result of expectations and restrictions.

Deepen your understanding of current barriers, re-active patterns grown rigid and predictable …begin to thoroughly watch yourself and your false life action toward your inner-life and begin to acquaint yourself with your authentic-self.

Consciously decide to release yourself from emotional barriers brought about from previous experiences. These patterns no longer serve your Souls progress nor do they serve your mental health. You do not even need to know what they are.

All worldly gifts are available to you immediately if you remove blocks and open yourself to receive. It takes time…and this is the time.

“Don’t cling onto anything of the old; enter the new completely free and unfettered. Be open and willing to accept new ideas, new ways, to accept that all things are possible, that
 you can change and can change now, that you can leave all the old behind without any regrets and move forward with real joy and complete abandonment.”

-Eileen Caddy

Now is all we have… and this Mars cycle is a very Spiritualizing process to discover your own desires within…not the approval from without. The time is now to replace fear and doubt with trust and faith.

Outer activities which drew your attention now fall to the side as the all-important task of re-moving blocks of anger, jealousy and low self-esteem issues can be rooted out by the inward journey of Mars and released by the power of the love and light or enlightenment.

We all need to stop blaming ourselves for the unhappy, draining circumstances we may find ourselves living with. The psychological weakness continues through projecting our goodness onto others and expecting a return of the same quality… truly a Virgo “service oriented” expression.

Virgo is said to govern the hands, abdomen, intestines, spleen and central nervous system. Mars retrograde in Virgo influences one to obsessively worry leading to stomach and bowel troubles, ulcers, inflammation, headaches and skin rashes. This requires attention to your immediate and personal health needs.

Focus on strengthening your body and healing the immune system with natural health remedies involving herbs, acupuncture and detox formulas.

Use any delays and set-backs as the opportunity to research into foods and nutrition specifically for you… memory, weight-loss, sleep patterns, adrenal fatigue, and food addictions… all these areas can now be addressed for personal re-balancing. Virgo energy always provides the way to physical, emotional, spiritual healing… especially when the Mars retrograde provides the inner-directed course of action.

There is so much more to the extensive and beautiful energy inherent in the Virgo Mars as it relate to healing, cleansing and attending to the specifics of our personal and psychological freedom…along with the autonomy inspired by the Aquarian New Moon. We are evolving and in need of peace and rest!

We hold the power to create whatever we desire. Our ability to manifest the changes we desire depends on the depth and passion of our beliefs and on the focus of our attention.

“Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the universe is endlessly bountiful. Just put forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart desires must come to you.”

— Shakti Gawain

Holding on to any form of negative emotion or resentment requires a great deal of energy…energy that is not available during this retrograde cycle. Use this time wisely and focus on your clearing your “house”…your Spiritual house.

Always Loving Life,

Electra

(928) 451- 1809
www.signsfromabove.net