Posts Tagged ‘Law of Attraction 2012’

Seeking, Finding and Being Change

I’ve heard from many former Facebook friends — everything from “Are you ok?” to “I understand why you’ve decided to leave,” to “Yay! I’m leaving, too” to a very concerned “Do you need to talk to someone?” — as though by leaving Facebook I have left this entire reality. In a way, I have left, but only in the most positive sense of leaving. 😉 Meanwhile, I find it deliciously ironic that Facebook has somehow become the standard of “reality” for those whose friends exist primarily online. I’m not knocking this situation; I made some great friends on FB and stayed connected with lots of long distance friends I’d met earlier in person or as colleagues. FB fulfills many functions, from social activism and collective vibe raising to supportive small talk and virtual hugs.

When I left California for Chicago in early 2010, I purposely moved to Hyde Park, where I thought no one would ever venture to visit me. I lived on the 9th floor with panoramic views of Lake Michigan, the Museum of Science and Industry, and an open Western expanse except where other buildings dotted the sunset horizon. In many ways I felt like I lived in a tower, only “allowed” to leave once per day to buy a fresh green juice or vegan Thai food and then walk by the Lake. For hours. The icy winds and crashing waves welcomed my weary spirit and ensured that I would meet few people along the way. I wasn’t lonely; on the contrary, I craved the solitude. Except for a few close friends, feeling others’ physical energetic presence seemed harsh and oppressive after having utterly depleted myself for other people’s healing, support, well-being, and dreams. Yes, I wanted alone time. I desperately needed it.

And yet, I have a very social side. I didn’t join Facebook for friends, but I very much enjoyed the play after having worked so hard. Too fragile to play in person, I found that FB let me do so vicariously. What I joined “for service” became its own rabbit hole to a backdoor universe that quietly healed my life.

Once that life began clicking into alignment with what I truly desired, FB became more of the “mission” I’d first expected it to be. I found myself speaking out about things long held back, trying to share such things in non-alarmist ways. Most of the foreboding nightmares I had before 9/11/2001 and earlier this year have already come to pass. People have asked if that’s why I closed my account, and the answer is yes, but not for the reasons you might first conclude.

On the surface, it’s true, the US has finally revealed itself as a police state threatening Martial Law and trying to legalize the torture of its own citizens. The Senate and House just legalized indefinite detention of citizens (yes, the co-sponsor of the bill has shown precedent that it includes any and all US citizens, not just illegal aliens). Fukushima continues to spew untold amounts of radiation into our environment. Dolphins are turning up dead for unknown reasons (take your pick). Senate members press for extreme internet censorship and a “terrorist button” on all websites, facilitating a McCarthy-style turning in of any and all government critics. The Western economy is bankrupt, and Monsanto and BigPharma have taken over not only our food supply but also the government that regulates what’s legal to grow in our own garden. Ditto in New Zealand and the EU. On top of that, we might have WWIII on our hands with Iran, Israel, Russia, China and the US. Yes, on the surface, things look very grim, indeed.

The thing is, though, to me, none of this is new. I’ve had nightmares and forebodings of these sorts of things since before 2001. The fact that they’ve revealed themselves to others almost feels like a huge relief. A passing of the torch. Sometime in 2011, a very stagnant pond began to move, eventually rejoining the ebb and flow of tides. Now that things are so obviously ebbing, I see some gloriously flowing possibilities. Flowing water is cleaner water. Stagnation kills, while movement heals. For the life of me (and I mean that both literally and figuratively), I can no longer filter and transmute all the yuck in the world into something other people can swallow. I just can’t. And fortunately, I appear to have been relieved of that duty, just as I’ve been relieved of earlier duties when they grew too burdensome. Ask and ye shall receive. I both ask for and receive a lot.

In the tradition of Ghandi’s “You must become the change you wish to see in the world,” I have to admit I’m on my way. The shift happened gradually, no doubt much earlier than I recognized it coming. Maybe 2006. Maybe with my 1998 brain injury as the trigger. For awhile, some things got way worse while other “impossible” things resolved. For awhile, I lived simultaneously in extreme joy and despair while fighting my way out of a self-and-other-imposed straight jacket. I don’t know exactly how or when I became Houdini; nor do I care to quibble about it. My point is that change does happen. As above, so below; as within, so without. Sometimes it takes awhile for physical reality to reflect what’s happened on the inside, but it always eventually happens! I see this during Medical Intuitive, Soul Reading and Tarot sessions. I also hear it from teachers like Abraham-Hicks, Sanaya Roman’s Orin, Joseph Murphy, Ghandi, Ralph Waldo Emerson and MLK.

I see and feel it happening now, in our world and in ourselves. When I look at my life right now, I feel so incredibly grateful. I have never felt more consistent joy, and I sense this current state as mere seeds of the full grown bliss and content longing to burst forth in Divine and perfect timing. The seeds themselves taste good, but what about the eventual fruit that produces so many more seeds? I know so many amazing Lightworkers –as friends, clients, students, and colleagues — and I see this happening in individuals all over the world. Little seeds of bliss and content, firmly planted in good, rich soil. We are the first sprouts. The early crop. The volunteer harvest. Even though the current external reality looks more like a compost pile, I already see our world in full, glorious bloom and fruit.

That’s why I left Facebook when I did. I had a “job” to do on FB, and I completed that task. In what feels like a promotion (or even a giddy retirement) my new “job” is simply to do more of what I most enjoy. Let more of my gifts shine through in brighter ways. Follow my bliss. Play. Create. Let my love show and flow. Imagine. Peace out. I’ve been asking and asking for an abundant, prosperous, free and loving world where everyone can live this way. It’s high time I commit to fully becoming and receiving the change I wish to see in the world. I know from the Law of Attraction that we can speed shifts by feeling what we long for as though we already have it. For me, this has meant a return to my private life, in-person friends, my boyfriend, our families, trees, water, fantasy, and books.

I love my life! I hope you find more and more ways to love your own. Please know that seeking, finding and being change is some of the most important work you will ever do. Have fun with it!

Lightworkers, Forgiveness and Narcissism: Just Find the Relief

Today I want to share with you another excellent video message from Abraham-Hicks about “relief,” and why it’s so powerful and needed right now. According to Abraham, and I’ve confirmed this so many times in my own life: whenever you start feeling relief, you get back into your flow, and your preferred experiences start manifesting in your life. When you’re used to living in resistance, pain or lack, just the slightest sense of relief has the potential to snap you right back on track for free-flowing ease.

As part of The Forgiveness Experiment, I recently stumbled upon some incredible resources by Kaleah, that have been clicking everything into alignment and allowing me to release situations and people for good. For the Highest Good, in fact, and without anymore confusion. It turns out that the reason I’ve been so able to recognize abuses happening in the world with regard to shadow governments, manipulation of subconscious mind, slavery in the form of “help,” nonstop creation of problems in order to present themselves as “saviors” from the very problems they (corporations, BigPharma, BigOil, BigBanks, BigGovernment, BigPhood) created, is because I’ve spent much of my life as a Narcissist Personality Disorder magnet.

I knew people were surfing off my energy; I just didn’t realize how or how much until this website began sounding so eerily familiar. Thank you, angels, for your prompt reply to my surrender and release of tricky situations requiring my forgiveness! Though shocking how far down the rabbit hole things go, it’s actually not surprising, given that we live in a society and world saturated with symbols, subliminal messages, religions, school systems, financial institutions, and governments promoting fear, separation, and shame.

For many people, losing their home represents a fundamentally crushing experience that destroys one’s sense of self worth. The “housing crisis” happened by design: people who feel devastated and worthless are much easier to control. Ditto 9/11: it was by design. When people feel terrified, they are much easier to control. Removing “victim”‘s money, legal rights and self-respect has allowed the über-narcissists of this world nearly complete control by convincing us that we need them in order to survive. The actual situation is reversed. Just like any parasite can be starved by refusing to feed it, so, too can the corporations and crazy people running our world right now. They need complete soul-level rehabilitation, not another quick fix.

When we feel separated from our inner Divinity, the ego blows itself out of proportion, living from a place of fear, scarcity, and projection. We all engage in a bit of narcissism, but pathological narcissism like that practiced by those who’ve tried to control this planet and humanity, results when the separation becomes so painful and pronounced that they must project any and all ill feelings onto their “victims.” Total control and total consumption become the driving forces. You become a food source, just like in The Matrix. The more you buy into the illusion (and that movie itself contains subconscious programming), the more you feed those “person”‘s creating the illusion.

A pathological narcissist becomes incapable of compassion or empathy and will use whatever tactics available in order to procure its next fix: your energy. Kaleah’s second ebook, “Narcissism: Web of Illusion,” sounds so much like posts I’ve written all year, except she actually uses the word and definition of narcissism. Awakening to the fact that someone else is actively orchestrating suffering, confusion, pain, debt and feelings of unworthiness can become a first step to freedom. We see this happening right now with the Arab Spring and the Occupy Movements.

When “victims” start to tune out the programming, they reconnect with Source energy. This reconnection to Love creates a safe enough environment to begin exploring how their own shadow issues make them easy prey for narcissistic “abuse.” Once they begin to move outside the dance of victim/abuser, they can fully heal.

Any abuse offers within it the keys to free ourselves — if we accept responsibility for how and why we’ve attracted these things into our lives. This is just as true on the global level as it is inside ourselves. As within, so without; as above, so below. I know I have learned tremendously from my own experiences with narcissists. In retrospect, I can see how and why my soul attracted people whose actions would “force” me to tap into my gifts in major ways. I can honestly say that I would not be offering most of what I offer to the world, and certainly not on a large or public scale, if the NPD people in my life hadn’t backed me into various corners. Since people with NPD feel so much darkness inside, they routinely seek out food sources who embody great light. If you are a Lightworker, then you have most likely experienced narcissistic abuse in your personal life. If you live on planet Earth, then you have certainly experienced narcissistic abuse in some form on the macro scale.

The more Lightworkers reclaim their own inner light and connection to Source, the more powerful and pure their point of attraction becomes. The more we heal and accept our own shadow side, the less others’ projections affect us. This is a major theme of the movie Kymatica, which looks at the world as a macrocosm of the individual soul. At this key time in our Universe, I feel that Lightworkers have a special responsibility to lead the way for others still mired in self-loathing, confusion and despair. Most Lightworkers I know, including myself, have experienced unbelievable trauma, but somehow they never quite forget their true identity as sparks of the Divine. Our world needs whole, healed Lightworkers right now, more than ever.

Please, if you have any interest in upping your love vibe, take some time to explore how narcissistic abuse (past or present) may still be hitting some of your limitation triggers. If you feel unworthy of abundance, power or recognition, and you’ve already done your own “inner work,” then perhaps the remaining triggers and programming actually came from someone or something else. If you feel over-responsible for your own perceived shortcomings, odds are you’ve let a narcissist play on your shadow side. No time like the present to fully claim your intention to heal and shine! I’ve written on Rejection, Projection and Reflection before, but I highly recommend spending some time on Kaleah’s website as well. We live in times of tremendous opportunity and potential. Healing ourselves can and will heal the world.

I hope this information triggers some relief within you. If so, enjoy! Your relief can and will lead to joy. I think Willy Wonka says it best:

Willy Wonka: But, Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted.

Charlie: What’s that?

Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.