The topics of “resonance,” “harmony” and “frequency” have become especially common in phone sessions as people continue to get more sensitive to the energies in and around themselves. Many people feel unexpected and tremendous relief when they remove themselves from disharmonious influences that they considered either minor irritations or “must have’s” in their lives. In fact, they feel so much better that the sense of relief practically shouts itself from the rooftops.
They then feel a combination of guilt and elation that they “feel so much better with this person or situation out of my life. How is this possible? I can’t deny it, but they’re my ____[parent/sibling/spouse/job/best friend/random person I run into]. I feel bad for not hanging out with them, but I just can’t do it anymore. My body won’t let me. Should I feel bad? What’s going on?!”
What’s going on is what I call “frequency sorting,” and although it can seem surprising, it’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean one person is “evil” and the other “good.” It doesn’t mean one person is “right” and the other “totally wrong.” It just means, these people or situations are “not a match” or “not a match right now.”
But why is it such a big deal, and why does the body care so much?
The easiest illustration I can show is this video of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge Collapse, which shows how disharmonious frequency affects physical structures. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the wind that causes the bridge to sway; however, the continued frequency of that wind eventually causes the bridge to buckle and fall apart. The wind and the bridge are not compatible, and if the bridge had been able to remove itself from the wind or to create a buffer from that wind, then it would not now be “one of the world’s largest manmade reefs.”
Can this kind of resonance that destroys serve a larger purpose? Sure. In this case, “Gallopin’ Gertie” inspired the complete redesign of bridges across the world, because no one wanted a repeat of this level of destruction. But if your body is the bridge, or you’re on the bridge, and someone’s or something’s presence starts rocking your heart rate, hormones and any semblance of inner peace, self preservation strongly advises getting out of the way of that frequency. In the beginning, not much damage occurs, but with sustained exposure, look what happens:
Be gentle with yourself. Perhaps the frequencies between you two just happen to create highly destructive resonance waves right now. It might not mean forever. Frequencies do change, but if you notice, the wind sustains no damage. Only the bridge. The bridge is rockin’ and rollin’ and going all topsy turvy. If the wind said to the bridge, “I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m just blowing. It’s your problem.” Well, yeah, in this case, it is the bridge’s problem, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a very real problem. The bridge collapsed with sustained exposure.
Sometimes, you’re not the bridge, but you find yourself in a highly non-resonant situation of someone else’s drama. You’re like the person in the car on the swaying bridge. A bridge can’t easily walk away from a situation, but the person in the car on the topsy turvy Tacoma Narrows Bridge needed to make some fast, courageous decisions if they didn’t want to go down in Puget Sound.
In the bigger picture, good things can come of these situations, even if the bridge collapses, but do you want to risk collapse? The design of future bridges created safer suspension and buffers to prevent this sort of thing from happening as easily again. Perhaps your body’s just warning you to remove yourself from destructive resonance until you can change your own frequency so that you become less vulnerable to that specific frequency of wind. Perhaps, your body’s increasing malfunctions order you to walk away from abuse or negativity or falsehood. Maybe you’ve developed a hypersensitivity to narcissists or sociopaths, in which case, you can save yourself a lot of trouble by proceeding with high alert caution or — more often than not — getting out of the car and carefully running for your life.
A lot of people have recently developed extreme sensitivity to denial. Generally, coming out of denial leads to awakening, but it also destroys illusions and weak foundations in the process. Depending on how fully invested people feel in the denial, premature awakening could trigger a nervous breakdown or equivalent “collapse.” Once someone has awakened from denial, though, continuing to hang around people who live and breathe the lie, who embody the lie takes a huge toll on the body. Mismatched, disharmonious frequency sometimes feels horrible to both parties, but sometimes only one person needs to get away. No judgment here, really: think of the wind and the bridge. The wind didn’t feel a problem, but the bridge sure did! Again, the need to remove yourself from disharmonious frequency does not necessarily indicate who is right or wrong. It just “is” a need to remove yourself in order to avoid collapse.
Yes, sometimes positive new things come from a needed collapse, but often, we can embrace equally or even more positive new things by sidestepping collapse. You decide. In these chaotic times, learning to trust your body can help determine who or what to include in your life experience. What frequencies do you wish to engage? What frequencies feel supportive and strong? Which ones dis-integrate you? If you’re on what I call an Integration Lifetime, then you have a soul imperative to integrate. Choose wisely.
All the layers of your being matter. If you need to “see it to believe it,” then you might get to witness your own, personal “Gallopin’ Gertie.” If you can trust your feelings and act on those, then life can bring what David calls “Ease ‘n’ Please” instead of “Trauma Drama.” Bridges can get you from point a to point b, but the journey becomes far more interesting and difficult if the bridge collapses. You might still reach point b — perhaps your soul will insist upon it! But if you’re too afraid to address issues of frequency, resonance and harmony now, then it becomes ironic to call this “the safe choice.”
Listen to your body; cultivate your soul. If you need a stabilizing force in the wind so that you have the presence of mind and heart to decide, just ask. Just like the person in the car caught on the buckling bridge, you are not as alone as you feel right now. Help can arrive, but if you find yourself on a swaying, buckling bridge when help arrives, you might want to get out of the car!
Wishing you discernment, courage and strength in these chaotic times… find the right frequency for you, and all this chaos begins to feel empowering and good! But frequency is key.