About Those Triggers…

With the veils continuing to thin, lots of people are getting “triggered” these days. This post is a short reminder of the choices a trigger moment presents:

  1. Time for Shadow Work: If you see, read, hear or experience something that gives you an extremely intense, possibly over-reaction or makes you feel like a victim, then it’s time to root around in the dark closet of your own psyche to find discarded, rejected, disowned or falsely portrayed parts of yourself. These might be beliefs you took on to please others but that do not allow you to live an authentic life. They might be past life issues bleeding through to this time around and distorting your perspective. They might be gifts you learned to hide because you didn’t know how to manage them. In any case, Shadow Work pays big dividends. You can find a lot of articles on this topic by clicking here.
  2. Find Ways to Stop Actual Abuse: If you find yourself in a situation of actually being abused, or if you witness the abuse of a child or someone who cannot help him or herself, then feeling triggered likely arises as Mama Bear growling, “No more!” or Gandalf stating, “You shall not pass.” In this case, the trigger will continue until you do something tangible to end the abuse. Triggers of this sort do not respond to denial. Once you stand your ground and open the way for someone to stop or step away from the abuse, though, you have done your job. You cannot force someone besides yourself never to return to that relationship or situation, but you can make a huge difference by opening an obvious avenue of escape.
  3. Release Relationships and Remove Yourself: We live in times of great awakening, and with increased consciousness comes increased choice. I emphasized the phrase “someone who cannot help him or herself,” because the Universe no longer supports codependent behavior. If you try to do for people what they can do for themselves, or if you continue to make their lives work despite selfish and destructive behavior, then you end up enabling their non-shift. The Universe is in shift mode right now, so enabling someone’s non-shift requires you to work against the flow of the Universe. Fatigue and burnout quickly follow. Shocking though it seems to people dedicated to consciousness, thriving and empowerment, given the choice, MANY people opt to remain non-conscious, less-than-authentic, self-described victims. Why? Because consciousness involves both courage and responsibility. If you find yourself triggered by people and situations in your life that do not embody the new, empowered, radiant, healing, non-linear energies of thriving and joyful choosing, then your trigger comes from trying to straddle two worlds at once. You will not find peace until you commit fully to the life you choose, regardless of how differently others around you choose.

We create our New Earth by living and embodying it. Where you fall on the scale of 1-3 determines what your trigger means. For people in category 3, feeling triggered reveals your desire to usher in and embrace a new, far improved reality. Honor and celebrate that kind of trigger, even as it may mean leaving some people or situations behind. Everyone and everything gets to choose right now, and you choose by your vibration and actions even more than words. Walk your talk. Inhabit (i.e. make it a new habit) and realize (make Real) the New Earth. Only then will you feel lasting peace.

Blessed Be … and you become the blessing!

12 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Demitra M. N. on February 12, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    For some reason, as I was reading this, my brain kept dropping the first letter “r” in the word “Triggers” and I kept reading it as “Tiggers”. ..lol.. Of course, I kept visualizing Pooh and the Gang but what’s bizarre is that it actually was making perfect sense to me the whole time. 🙂 I “knew” it was meant to be a word play, except I honestly believed it was YOur clever word play, not my own, in describing slippery matters that can pop out at at anytime and be hard to pin down if we aren’t inclined to follow where they rush off… ..lol.. I have to say, I wish I had seen tiggers in shadow work instead of triggers, a long time ago, it would have made the process so much more… woohoo! 😉 Thanks, Laura!

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  2. Posted by Sky on February 12, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    Thank you. Your #3 tip “Release Relationships and Remove Yourself” nailed a situation I am currently going through. I have a friend who was once a very good friend. But soon after the birth of her first child several years ago, she began developing serious mental problems. The issues only worsened over time to where she is now no longer in contact with reality and can be quite abusive in her behavior. Including to her own now six children. The person I once knew and called a good friend simply no longer exists. She is lost in the shadows of her own mind and spirit. And enduring ongoing emotional abuse in a relationship she needs to let go of herself.

    The person I once knew and loved has sadly slipped away in bits and pieces over the years. It’s been like watching a slow train wreck over the years. I finally took a break from the relationship for 3 years. When I tried to start it up again last spring, she was even sicker than when I took the break. After much pain over what has happened to her and her mind, and going to God in prayer for His wisdom and guidance, I decided to release this relationship with love. Permanently. Still I felt like a bad friend. However, your post today made me feel much better.

    Sometimes all you can do for someone is to let them go. Sometimes “continuing on”, no matter how mentally ill they are and no matter they behave, is indeed “enabling”. It says it’s “okay” to be out of touch with reality and hurtful to others. Including your own children. I don’t know if my former friend will ever get the help she so truly needs. And which I so dearly wish she would. But all I can do for her now is to hold good thoughts for her and to pray for her — from a safe distance.

    All this to say, thank you so much for your post roday on “triggers”. In addition to “letting go” of relationships that no longer work, it is indeed important for us to also face our own “shadows”. Avoiding confronting and working with our own shadows can indeed cause some people to go “mad”. While others simply miss the fullness of joy which life is meant to have for us..

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  3. Oh my, exactly what I’ve been dealing with these past two weeks but finally got to a point of clarity with it all just yesterday. Your words are such a confirmation and as always, many many thanks.

    My elderly mother became ill which triggered all sorts of issues. From making sure she was getting the care she should be getting from health and social work professionals (because that wasn’t happening which is why she took ill), dealing with my own and my daughter’s anxiety about her inevitable passing (she’s 89, it will happen) and resisting enormous pressure to take on the role of martyred hero by becoming her full time carer, it’s been interesting. The health and soclal care system here in the UK is in crisis and their knee-jerk solution is an expectation that next of kin will assume the burden of care. But as you say, that just leads to fatigue and burn-out. I now know what level of support I am willing and able to provide for my lovely mother (and it is quite a lot, I care deeply for her) but becoming her full time carer isn’t it, and with the big picture information you have provided above, I would just to be enabling that whole out-of-balance system to be perpetuated.

    I’m seeing so many other examples of this lately, where people are complaining of intolerable burdens or demands but remain unwilling to come out of denial and NO. But until they do, nothing will change.

    I definitely had my Mama Bear and Gandalf days these past few weeks, but yesterday was more of a Galadriel moment – the one where she was presented with the ring of power and declined, thereby passing a test and able to remain herself and go forward into her own life!

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  4. Posted by Kieron on February 13, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    I’ve been watching myself get triggered in various ways in recent days and weeks, and watching others likewise get triggered. Sometimes I succeed in detached observation, but not usually. It’s not unlike that giant glass box with ping-pong balls individually resting on mousetraps. Enter “ping pong mousetrap” into a YouTube search engine to see what I mean. Anyway… like Sky, I have concluded I have no choice but to cut loose a friend, one who is lost to compulsive and addictive behavior. It hurts but it’s the way it is. That’s on a micro scale. On a macro scale, I am seriously looking into excommunicating myself from the Catholic Church, an institution in which I was raised but have considered merely absurd since age 17. I saw a news story about the Catholic Pope Francis and the Russian Orthodox Patriarch Kiril, attending a joint meeting in Cuba, just a few days ago, in a historic conference, after 1,000 years of religious bickering and cold silence. Do you know what their primary purpose was? Do you suppose it was about condemning the sexual abuse of children, calling for the end of poverty and ceasing persecution of the poor and ill, or advocating care for the Earth? Nothing so lofty. No, it was about signing a joint denouncement of same-sex marriage. Two elderly, unmarried men, wearing white dresses and silly hats (and a $30,000 Rolex watch, in Russian Patriarch Kiril’s case), sat there telling us that their religion is so fragile that any two consenting adults of the same gender uniting in a civil ceremony promising to care for one another until the end of their lives, is such a threat to the two Churches that its eradication is a priority. Well, that’s it. Straws and camels’ backs. I have some work to do… it’s not an easy task removing oneself from the church’s records, but I have now decided it’s a priority of my own.

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  5. Posted by Diana on February 13, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    Excellent post. Thank you.

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  6. Reblogged this on Noua Era.

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  7. Wow, thank you to everyone for the deep and timely sharing. I knew this was up for a lot of people, but clearly even more than I realized. Many blessings, peace and healing to everyone … and, of course, deep, abounding joy!

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  8. Reblogged this on Tania Marie's Blog and commented:
    Great post from Laura of reminders if you are feeling very triggered these days, or have challenge moving through triggers when they come up. I think this will hit home for a lot of people, especially since so many are on the precipice of major change and so triggers become even louder and more deliberate when you are ready to make those leaps. Hang in there and understand that only you have the power to change your experience. Others have their own choices and aren’t necessarily going to choose along with you. Be your own change and know that is the most loving and responsible service to others.

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  9. This gave me goosebumps. Thanks.

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