A Message from the Faeries

I was asked to relay the following:

It has come to the attention of the Faery Realm that we are being unfairly and inaccurately linked to the implementation of Obamacare, the ability of politicians to crunch numbers — indeed, how absolutely barbaric (numbers are sacred, not some crispy, genetically modified snack to further manipulate!) — and to all manner of unlikely promises and claims flowing from the White House. Along with “elves,” “Gandalf,” “fairy tales” and “myths,” we faeries (also known as the Disney-fied spelling of “fairies”) and the elementals (though unmentioned by your journalists), would like to go on record that we have absolutely nothing to do with any such ridiculous things. The entire Faery Realm is peeved, quite peeved, and (in some cases) downright ornery, about such accusations.

Firstly, “fairy tales” and “myths” are not synonymous with un-Truth. On the contrary, fairy tales and myths represent some of the deepest and truest repositories of Ancient Wisdom. Furthermore, faeries, though tricky, do not lie. “A Person’s Word is Bond” is one of our three main Faery Rules, and — unlike humans — faeries actually enforce that Rule. When someone falsely gives his or her word, the Fae take action. Liars and thieves feel consequences when dealing with the Faery Realm. Better never to encounter a faery than to lie, steal from or otherwise abuse one. We hope you can see just how far apart we stand, fly and swim — dimensions apart — from anything associated with promising one thing and substituting something inferior or malicious.

Furthermore, anyone who tries to pull the old switcheroo on us, should prepare themselves for Faery Mischief. Though not evil, we can be quite maddening. The worse the offense, the greater the leaks, mishaps and humiliations become. “A Person’s Word is Bond,” we say, “so you can count on more where those came from. Much more. We enjoy showing arrogant humans how foolish they are and dropping the veils of poor imitation Faery Glamour. Moreover, woe to humans who promised to help the Earth then fracked the hell out of Her. Pusillanimous poppycocks! She is a living, breathing Being. We will not allow you to kill her. Better never to speak than to vow to protect your Mother only to invite corporate thugs to ravage her. You disgust us.”

Secondly, the next Faery Rule is “Respect, Not Control.” How anyone can confuse this Rule with Obamacare, the monopoly money debt slavery system, and all those ridiculous letters like NDAA, NSA, TSA, CIA, DHS, IRS, FDA, overseen by “czars,” truly strains credulity. The fact that you humans believe in your monetary system but not the Faery Realm would send us into giggle fits if it weren’t so sad. Do you not realize that Iceland and Ireland, two lands with the deepest connection between humans, elves and faeries, have done more to address the root cause of your “banking crises” than any of the so-called leader nations who think myth and fairy tales mean lies? You would do well to respect yourselves and to conduct yourselves in a manner that warrants respect. Those who vie to control others through psychiatric potions, word spells, torture and abuse would do well to honor this sage advice: “Don’t piss off the faeries.”

Those who are actually fighting for the same freedoms and healthy food, water and ecosystems that we support would do well to stop insulting us. You don’t need to join us, but we do suggest you respect us. You mock what you do not understand. We could help you, but some of us have thin wings and long fingers. We might pinch you if you keep slandering and attacking us without provocation. What have we ever done to deserve such mockery? It’s not your fault that those who dominate and control you minimized the records of our capabilities through mind-control efforts of Disney and centuries of persecution, but please don’t mock. Unlike most of you humans, we are acutely in touch with our emotions. It’s part of our charm, in all senses of that word. We cannot be held responsible for consequences that occur as a result of abusing our charms.

We can help you. Some of us are warriors. We have no interest in controlling you. We honor liberty. After all, we do like bells. Blue bells especially. We offer our assistance to those who honor the Ancient Ones and Natural Law. Keep in mind that the Wee Folk are not so little. Nor have we lost our self-respect. We know when and how to fight, and we follow through. How many of you scoffers can say the same? How many of you warriors couldn’t benefit from some extra-dimensional power and Glamour? Think wisely before rejecting kind offers from your Unseen Allies. As one of our human incarnations has been known to say, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

Which brings us to the third Faery Rule: “No Rudeness.” Again, we find it unbelievable — nay, less believable than some of you find the prospect of our existence — unbelievable that you would conflate the rabid words and libel of your politicians with our noble Realm. Rudeness extends beyond not being polite, although as we explained above, many of you have not been polite to us. We can forgive your prior ignore-ance, but now you have been warned. Continued mockery will be taken as intentional rudeness.

Please bear in mind that rudeness also involves degrees of crassness, a lack of refinement, and a certain indescribable yet palpable ugliness, which offends those who honor and cultivate natural beauty, order and harmony. Your political stage is so far from even a poor imitation of natural beauty, order and harmony as to be mutually exclusive. Kindly refrain from sullying the Faery Realm, our inhabitants and visitors, as well as any of our literary and sacred treasures with the intolerable rudeness of your dimension.

Some of us would like to support a shift of your collective reality into one that more aligns with ours. We believe most of you would find life much more pleasant, elegant, enjoyable, fun and free. You would also feel dazzled by the natural beauty and refinement, and you would love our feasts! Not all of us wish to invite your messy boots into our world, but we will permit the intrusion and help to blend our respective (ahem!) worlds if you learn to follow three simple Rules. Please, if you would like to partner with us, you must remember:

A Person’s Word Is Bond
Respect, Not Control
No Rudeness

You have been contacted, warned and offered a choice. Please consider well, and choose wisely. The future of both of our dimensions may depend upon your choice. Blessed Be.