The Forgiveness Experiment

I’ve noticed a theme during recent sessions, books I’m currently reading, my sense of the world pulse (especially the Occupy Movement), and my own intuitive nudges about things that still need releasing in my life: Forgiveness. I decided to try a little experiment on a personal and a collective level:

The quickest way to get an unwanted someone out of your vibration and hence out of your life is to forgive them for whatever you believe they’ve done to you; forgive yourself for falling for it; and forgive yourself for whatever you may have done to them. Easier said than done, but easier done than left undone, since unforgiveness creates pain on all levels. I am personally working on this with someone I knew while I was very brain injured. I won’t share details here because once forgiveness happens, those details won’t matter, but in trying to shake off old cords — in particular those related to financial trickery –I keep getting the message that forgiveness is my fastest, and possibly my only, route to total freedom. “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”

Victim mentality never thrives but neither does sustained anger. Peace within, peace without. I invite a flow of Grace, especially in this area and with this person.

I am also imagining how this works on a collective level with Obama, Monsanto and gangster/banksters. I realize that my irritation with, judgment of, and resistance to these people keeps them locked in my vibration. My attempts to release them to the angels have been only temporarily successful. I’m ready for a complete transformation of my outer world, which, I know, requires a complete transformation of my inner world. And so…I’ve spent the last 24 hours deeply pondering those areas in which I have not forgiven others or myself. I found that my feelings about Obama playing on people’s hopes only to dash them through trickery and backdoor deals with bankers, BigPharma and Monsanto were directly related to my own issues of feeling completely duped, bilked and manipulated while in a highly vulnerable state — i.e. brain injured and with no rational side.

I could see the dynamic when it projected outwards into a dumbed down, numbed out and desperate society, but found it more difficult to recognize in my own life. Whenever I would glimpse what happened on a personal level, I felt extremely uncomfortable self-judgment. “How in the world could I have fallen for that?!” As a close friend reminded me last night, “You had perhaps the best excuse someone could ever have for falling for that kind of trick: a brain injury.” It’s true, I did. But I still had intuition, and I repeatedly ignored it. I have since encountered so many clients who did not have brain injuries but also found themselves tricked into signing various paperwork that transferred anything from property to debt to responsibility from a person they trusted and unknowingly onto themselves. Turns out, it’s quite common.

One way people seem to get away with it is that the “victims” wouldn’t ever imagine doing something like this to those they love. Or to anyone, for that matter! And yet, somehow, nice, trusting people seem to attract this sort of thing. I’ve noticed patterns in my work with clients, finding that the vulnerability for being financially duped usually stems from childhood programming by well-meaning caregivers, as well as past lives that involved witch trials, character assassinations, and unexpectedly large negative consequences of minor selfish decisions. Buying into the judgment seems to result in lots of judgments this time around –even if the debt, accusations or judgment have nothing to do with the “victim.”

I put “victim” in quotes, because the victim mentality only prolongs the pattern. An abuser requires a victim in order to be an abuser, in the same way that a victim requires an abuser in order to be a victim. If we view ourselves in either –or both –roles, we will continue to tangle with an aggressive tar baby. The more we fight, the more entangled we get.

At this point in my life, and hopefully at this point in the world, I/we want results. I’ll speak for myself here when I say, “I want results so much that I’m willing to stop churning this situation around and around in my mind, because no matter how much I try to understand it, the more I think about it, the less I comprehend. I want to forgive and forget, but doing so will require help from above. I invite and invoke healing on all levels, and I ask for the Grace to release any and all attachments, judgments, fears, complaints, and misperceptions. I know we live in a perfect world. I know in the bigger scheme of things, everything is in perfect, Divine timing and order. I know that forgiving does not mean approving; yet I also accept that approval and disapproval are no longer my concerns. I am free and everyone else is free. In order to embrace the fullness of freedom, joy and bliss, I release all need to play God in favor of simply playing. And so it is.”

I’m engaging this process for even more reasons than I’ve already explained. The Forgiveness Experiment is simply my non-attached observation of how my inner transformation plays out in my personal and collective external reality. I feel curious and hopeful –excited and thrilled to be singing a new song while playing a new game. Jubilee and Namaste.