The Dick, Dick and Harry Pixie Blitz

Cuz sometimes ya just gotta …

In response to my recent post about the European Commission banning heirloom seeds and criminalizing the growth of all unregistered plants, someone commented:

“Can anyone say New World Order? It’s all about control. They intend to kill all of us but not before robbing us and destroying human rights and dignity. For an honest evaluation of the NWO check out Infowars.com with Alex Jones!”

To which I replied:

“Yep. Of course, New World Order is all just conspiracy ‘theory.’ How people can remain in denial about this boggles the mind. On the other hand, I sometimes get an obscene urge to blast all the WOes (what my friend Gillian calls them) with massive amounts of pixie dust – to intoxicating levels.

“Sometimes old Jabba needs his double chins tickled and just to be coated in all that icky human love stuff. Ohhhh, they hate that! Only miserable losers could feel so obsessed with controlling everyone and everything. If they’re allergic to pixie dust, so much the better.

“When are all these old men poisoning the world gonna kick the bucket? Seriously. They are way past expiration. Not to sound rude, but when you’re plotting and enacting genocide, sometimes people are going to wonder… Are billions ‘useless eaters’ or would that be the parasites and rats at the top?” ;)

So, here’s my confession:

Sometimes I really do dream of showering the Dick’s (Durbin — who every few months tries to eliminate US consumers’ rights to natural supplements; and Cheney — a Dr. Eeeeee-villll who needs no further introduction) and Harry (aka Heinz aka Henry Kissinger) and their ilk with massive amounts of pixie dust. In addition to tumbleweeds, tickle monsters, and just-out-of-everyone-else’s-audible-range giggles. Sometimes I just wanna sneak some love into Dick Cheney’s heart replacement, because wouldn’t that be silly? And can you imagine Dick Durbin, the next time he tries to sneak through oppressive legislation on a holiday weekend if he finds himself having so much fun that he forgets to file that odious paperwork?

And Henry, ohhhhh, Henry, when you said, “the illegal we do immediately; the unconstitutional takes a little longer,” I know we must have misunderstood you. That was all part of your bad boy act, right? “Americans like the cowboy … who rides all alone into the town, the village, with his horse and nothing else … This amazing, romantic character suits me precisely because to be alone has always been part of my style or, if you like, my technique.” (November 1972 Interview with Oriana Fallaci) Your technique’s not lacking, is it Henry? Useless eaters just failed to appreciate it. I’m sorry, does that make us “dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy,” too, or does that only apply to the military when they misread your rugged sense of style?

I do declare, all three of you tough guys take this New World Order and genocide business far too seriously. Lighten up or face the wind chimes.

And the faery pinches.

And the pixie dust.

Did your moms not love you enough? Did your dad not let you drive the golf cart? Oh, right, that was W … We all know Saddam Hussein tried to kill his daddy, which is why we are now how many murders deep in Iraq? ;)

All y’all just got blasted with some Fae Mischief. Just cuz. Some of us would like to see you giggle about something actually funny instead of running your fingers through bald kitties and orchestrating the end of the world. If you’re gonna play characters from movies, then do yourselves a favor and learn from Mr. Grinch:

Play nice or Whoville will drive you batty. You can take all the toys from Whoville, and some of us will still sing. Some of us will chant songs and grow real flowers from real seeds that have nothing to do with Monsanto. Speaking for myself, if you decide to off me, then I will giggle at you and tickle you from beyond the grave. Because I can.

And because you’re funny — in a really sad, pathetic sort of way. You’ve definitely got a pixie dust deficiency, and if you keep aiming for control, all that supplementary pixie dust blowing your way is bound to make you sneeze or slip on a GMO banana peel, distracting you from whatever dastardly deed you feel compelled to push through today. Halliburton? Covered in hippie flowers and Deva Premal chants. The Senate? After your mandatory colonics that I will continue to prescribe for you, you’ll all be treated to a sweat lodge ceremony where all of you will get to purge out all of your (many) crimes, one sweat droplet at a time. I figure you’ll be in there for quite some time, but don’t worry, you’ve earned your time off. We will happily bring in replacements so that you can just sweat the small stuff into eternity. What?! Isn’t that what control freaks do????

And you, Henry! Ohhh, Jabba … I hear there’s some special entertainment for you, Cowboy. All those children your policies have starved and murdered? They’re ba-a-a-ck! Singing Christmas carols and nursery rhymes just loud enough to make you forget what kind of world you’ve worked so hard to rein in. Cowboy. We’re coming up on the Year of the Horse. Too bad: you’re spooked, and your horse is Faery charmed.

Cuz sometimes ya just gotta. Enough is enough.

8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Sharon on January 4, 2014 at 2:36 am

    *cheering!* excellent rant, Brava, Brava!

  2. heehee … sometimes that mischief just wants out! ;)

  3. LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!! Let’s bombard them until they can’t stand it any more!!! Pixie dust overload!!!!!! :-)

  4. A Herxheimer of Pixie Dust it is! Sprinkle, sprinkle … or MAYBE, we could hijack a chemtrail plane and just pour it over their property … you know, for their own good like they do for us. They scratch my back, I’ll let their bald cat scratch theirs … ;) Besides, my hands are too full of pixie dust to scratch anyone. I’d drop love bombs, but someone might think I’m playing a video game, er, flying a drone and put me on the faery-orist watch list.

  5. This needs a like button so we can click it repeatedly:-)

    It’s doubly funny because demonic nasties really are super sensitive to faery dust-as in it usually makes them explode very like Roman candles.

    Which sadly is so much easier to imagine than that lot experiencing genuine laughter not at anyone’s expense.

    As the magic returns more and more I can easily imagine the whole collection of NWO nasty-pants being utterly besieged with frolicksome gremlins and newly freed house elves ( Dobby vs Dick! Lol)

    Making plants illegal is the height of ridiculous. I see Brazilian Peppers and Kudzu are still handily winning their conflicts with human governments.

    Tho the chemical hierarchy and control crowd do seem to have beat down poor dandelions out of the entire county where I live so our participation in preventing the stupid is still necessary.

    Setting oneself or ones organization against Mama Nature seems very like Don Quixote and the windmills in the long run tho.

    They can and have caused all sorts of difficulty for us of their (arguably) own species but long term the NWO has as much chance of beating the real powers on Earth as it has of winning a Nobel peace prize for its humanitarian work ( ok much less chance considering!);-)

  6. Thanks, ohnwentsya! I love your comment. LOL, I am just waiting for someone to comment that I’m a wacko for this post. Because, you know, supporting convicted war criminals and the BigPharmafia is sane.

    It’s true, I’ve gotten way behind on my fluoridated water and vaccines/mercury injections. What’s good for the gas chambers and the Mad Hatter would probably provide those extra nutrients and sanity I’ve missed through years of my organic food “orthorexia” pathological eating disorder. I’ve spent this entire post focused on a pixie blitz when what I probably need is more Wolf Blitzer. Maybe I can borrow someone’s tell-LIE-vision to get caught up on my programming. Wolf, then FOX to address those nasty CNN side effects, and then, in a few days, I’m sure I will need a prescription for Rachel Maddow to correct the FOX imbalance. Thankfully, the BigPharmafia funds all that programming with drug ads so I will be more likely to remember to take mine.

    Cuz, you know… Believing in faeries and pixies is pretty nuts. ;) I’ve seen the (mercury filled, fluorescent) Light! You know what this world needs?

    More wars and bankers. You know what we really need to get rid of? Plants. They’re dangerous! (Except when tinkered with so that they contain an unholy mix of machines and DNA to withstand being sprayed by RoundUp and fertilizer.)

    Popeye eating a can of spinach is so 20th century. I’ve seen the flickering Light: we should skip the spinach. Go straight to mainlining Agent Orange. If only those pesky regulations could be gotten rid of! What’s that? They’re trying to bring back Agent Orange? Phew! And to think without all that aluminum from chemtrails I might have remembered something about Vietnam. Those WOes… Always looking out for us. ;)

  7. […] « The Dick, Dick and Harry Pixie Blitz […]

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